Mexican Delivery

Two Mexicans are riding a bicycle on a road about 15 miles outside of Nogales, AZ. One of the bike's tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back into town. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Mexicans ask him for a ride. He tells them they can ride in the trailer if they could fit in with 20,000 bowling balls he is hauling.
They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. Wanting to make up time the trucker speeds up. Sure enough a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding. The officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies "Mexican eggs."
The Blond Lady Cop obviously doesn't believe this so she takes a look in the trailer. She opens the back door and shocked, quickly shuts it and locks it. She calls for immediate backup from headquarters, the Border Patrol and the Swat Team. The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that requires so many officers.
"I stopped a Tractor-Trailer with 20,000 Mexican eggs in it. two have hatched and they've already stolen a bicycle."

Change

Two black guys come upon a new store that claims to have a machine that will turn them white for 10 dollars. The first black guy has a 20$ bill with him and the second only has a 5$ bill. So the first black guy says, "How about I go in and use the machine and then ill come out and give you my change?" They both agree on the plan and the first black guy proceeds to go in. About 15 minutes later, the guy comes out completely white. He has a nice Rolex Watch, and a business mans suit on. The second black guy that had been waiting says, "Oh my God it worked!! Can I get your change to get mine done?" He responds "Get a job nigger"

Baby Sitting

Q: How do you babysit black kids?
A: Wet their lips and stick them to the wall!