11 Ponderings Collection

Ponderings Collection

1. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?
2. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
3. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
6. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
7. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
8. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
9. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
10. Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs?
11. Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns? 

Write In C

WRITE IN C (sung to The Beatles "Let it Be")
When I find my code in tons of trouble, Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom: "Write in C." As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see, Somewhere, someone whispers" "Write in C." Write in C, write in C, Write in C, write in C. LISP is dead and buried, Write in C. I used to write a lot of FORTRAN, for science it worked flawlessly. Try using it for graphics! Write in C. If you've just spent nearly 30 hours Debugging some assembly, Soon you will be glad to Write in C. Write in C, write in C, Write In C, yeah, write in C. Only wimps use BASIC. Write in C. Write in C, write in C, Write in C, oh, write in C. Pascal won't quite cut it. Write in C. { Guitar Solo } Write in C, write in C, Write in C, yeah, write in C. Don't even mention COBOL. Write in C. And when the screen is fuzzy, And the edior is bugging me. I'm sick of ones and zeroes. Write in C. A thousand people people swear that T.P. Seven is the one for me. I hate the word PROCEDURE, Write in C. Write in C, write in C, Write in C, yeah, write in C. PL1 is 80's, Write in C. Write in C, write in C, Write in C, yeah, write in C. The government loves ADA, Write in C. 

Pardon Me

Q: What's long and green and goes "hith"?
A: A snake with a lisp.