Whigs to Light a Lamp

Q: How many Whigs does it take to light an oil lamp?
A: One, and that person shall be President Andrew Jackson, hero of the Battle of New Orleans and Friend to the Common Man!

Condit V Clinton

Q: Was Gary Condit's sexual conduct the same as Bill Clinton's
A Close, but no cigar.

Bill Clinton's Song

Bill's Song: This should be sung to the tune "A Few of My Favorite Things" from the movie "The Sound of Music"
The Bill Clinton version: My Favorite Things Blow jobs and land deals in backwater places, Big Macs and french fries and girls with big faces, Lots of nice cleavage that makes willie spring, These are a few of my favorite things. Susan McDougal and Gennifer Flowers, Horny young interns who while 'way the hours, Profits from futures that Hillary brings, These are a few of my favorite things. When that Jones bites, When Ken Starr stings, When I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, And then I don't feel so bad. Beating the draft board and getting elected, Naming to judgeships some hacks I've selected, Conspiracy theories that blame the right wing, These are a few of my favorite things. Golfing with Vernon and suborning perjury, Falling down drunk that required knee surgery Stars in the White House who come here to sing, These are a few of my favorite things. Meeting with Boris and Helmut and Tony, States of the Union with lots of baloney, Winning debates and the joy of my flings, These are a few of my favorite things.