Politicians Cross the River

George W. Bush, Clinton, and Gore were all in heaven, and the angel said, "You must cross this river and we will judge how much you have sinned based on how far you sink."
Dubya goes first and gets up to his neck, but makes it across. He looks back and sees Al Gore walking on the water. He appeals to the angel saying, "He's sinned as much as I have, what gives?" The angel says, "He's standing on Clinton's shoulders!"

Bar Offense

A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar and sees a picture of President Trump hanging behind the bartender. He calls the bartender over and says, "You should take that picture down. Donald Trump is a blight upon this nation. He should be impeached." The bartender, a life-long Republican, is completely offended. "Why you liberal piece of garbage. How dare you come into my bar and tell me how to run my business!" "Listen, I'm the customer, so I'm always right." the man says. "That picture offends me, so I want you to take it down." "That tears it," the bartender says, "How would you like it if I came into your bar and told you what to do?" "Well, you'd be the customer, so you'd be right," the man says. "Fine, then let's switch places," the bartender says. So, they do. The man takes the bartender's place behind the bar, and the bartender walks outside, waits a moment, and then comes back inside. The bartender sits at the bar and says to the bar, "You should take that pin off. The Democrats are destroying our country with their liberal agenda." "Sorry," the man says, "but we don't serve Republicans here."

Bill Clinton Model

My new computer's the Bill Clinton Model. It's gotta 2 inch hard drive, no memory and it keeps going down.