Post Turtle

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught in a gate while working his cattle), a doctor and the old man were discussing the 2020 election.
The old man said, "Well, ya know, Sleepy Joe is a post turtle."
So, not knowing what he meant the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was.  "When you're driving down a country road, and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle. You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb-ass would ever put him there."

White House Ghosts

Hillary Clinton is elected president, and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?" The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie." She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?" The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people." She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?" The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."

Olympic Bobsled

Q: Why did the USA Bobsled team name their Olympic sled 'Biden'?
A: Because nothing has taken America downhill faster