Democrat Emblem Change

Democrats announced today they are changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party's political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages cooperation, protects a bunch of dicks and gives a sense of security while screwing others.

Hope for Hillary

Q: How did Bill try to cheer up Hillary after Trump's win?
A: He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president until after he had served 27 years in prison.

The Liberal Clothing Store

I went into a Liberal clothing store today to purchase some pants. When I started trying on a few pairs, I noticed that all the pockets except one were visibly removed. I stopped a clerk and ask him if anyone complained. He said, "No, Liberals always want a hand out, so its not a problem!"  I asked what happened to the other pockets. "Don't worry, they don't go to waste: Conservatives use them to line theirs!"