Communism

Capitalism, Socialism, and Communism have a meeting for tea at noon. Capitalism and Communism arrive on time, but Socialism is nowhere to be found. Finally he arrives, out of breath and apologetic. "I'm sorry,"  says Socialism, "I was standing in line for sausage." Capitalism says  "What's a line?" And Communism says  "What's a sausage?"

UK Sex

Q: What's the hot new sexual position for people in the UK?
A: The Brexit - you promise to pull out but you don’t.

Post Turtle

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught in a gate while working his cattle), a doctor and the old man were discussing the 2020 election.
The old man said, "Well, ya know, Sleepy Joe is a post turtle."
So, not knowing what he meant the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was.  "When you're driving down a country road, and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle. You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb-ass would ever put him there."