Obama Math

The Department of Defense briefed the President this morning.  They told President Obama that 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Afghanistan.  To everyone's surprise, he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken and almost in tears.
Finally, he composed himself and asked, "Just how many is a Brazilian?"
This isn't surprising since he obviously has no understanding of billion or trillion either.

Definition of Sex

Hillary and Chelsea were having a deep heart to heart talk about Chelsea's college experiences.
Hillary: So have you found dating to be fulfilling experience?
Chelsea: It's okay, but I don't like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds.
Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex?
Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not IF you define sex the way Daddy does.

Christmas Lights and Obama

I love Christmas lights. They remind me of the people who voted for Obama. They all hang together, half of the little bastards don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright!