Big mix-UP

One day, there was a plane that crashed. On it, was Bill Clinton and an extremely religious guy named Phil who's only wish was to meet the Virgin Mary.   Bill and Phil both died. Heaven and Hell got all mixed up that day, so the religious guy went to hell and Bill went to heaven, but only for about 20 minutes.  On their way back, they bumped into each other and Phil said, "Oh, my ONLY hope in the world is to see the Virgin Mary".  Bill Clinton replied,  "Sorry buddy, you're 15 minutes late!"

Obama Value Meal

Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Chelsea in Iraq

One day Chelsea Clinton decided to go to Iraq to talk to some soldiers. While talking to a particular soldier she asked him what his fears were. The soldier replied, "I'm only afraid of 3 things. Bernie, Obama, and yo mama!"