Doc Quack

I fill out my patient's charts with my own shit in a language taught to me by the bunny overlords.
Mental health is my specialty.

Observations of Women

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult:
Charlotte Whitton: "Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone."
Lenny Bruce: "I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine."
Mel Gibson: "I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against."
David Niven: "One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money."
Edgar Watson: "Howe Brigands demand your money or your life, women require both."

Common Sense Business Lines

• Common sense is not so common.
• Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough. - Descartes, 1637
• Communication with the dead is only a little more difficult than communication with (Insert Your Favorite Group - Engineering/Financial...)
• Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.
• Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
• Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.
• Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
• Confusion creates jobs.
• Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
• Conscious is being aware of something; conscience is wishing you weren't.