Conceited Dolls

I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves!

Becoming a Hitman

I'm thinking of becoming a hitman... Yeah, I heard they make a killing.

Stupid Insults

• Slow out of the gate.
• Smarter than the average bear.
• Smoke doesn't make it to the top of his chimney.
• So boring, his dreams have Muzak.
• So dim, his psychic carries a flashlight.
• So dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.
• So dumb, he faxes face up.
• So dumb, his dog teaches him tricks.
• So far gone, hard drugs push him closer to normal.
• So fat, people jump over him rather than go around.
• So slow, he has to speed up to stop.
• So slow, we drive stakes in the ground to measure his progress.
• So stupid, he tries to drown fish.
• So stupid, mind readers charge her half price.
• So ugly, robbers give him their masks to wear.
• Solid concrete from the eyebrows backwards.
• Some Assembly Required.
• Some bugs in his software.
• Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
• Some of her inodes have nodded off.
• Some pages missing.
• Somebody lend her a quarter to buy a clue.
• Somebody put a stop payment order on his reality check.
• Someday when she's younger...
• Someone blew out his pilot light.
• Someone else is doing the driving for that boy.
• Someone let the air out of her lock.
• Sort of like an inverse Einstein.
• Source code is missing a few lines.
• Speaks math/FORTRAN better than English.