Organ Party

Been to a fancy dress party where the theme was genitals. You should have seen some of the people there, they were dressed like dicks.

One - Liners... For Every

Familiarity breeds attempt. Familiarity breeds children.
Far-away talent always seems better than home-developed talent.
Fill what is empty; empty what is full; scratch where it itches.
For every "10" there are 10 "1's".
For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill.
For every idiot proof system devised, a new, improved idiot will arise to overcome it.

Vacation

"Just taken my wife to Maine"
"Bangor?"
"None of your fucking business"