Favorite Drink

Age of drinking
17 - Wine Coolers
25 - White wine
35 - Red wine
48 - Dom Perignon
66 - Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "What a scary mask!" but you're not wearing a mask!
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. and last but not least...
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live. Happy Halloween!

Jokes about Age

• OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just get played out
• OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just go from bar to bar
• OLD NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS never die, they just go off-line
• OLD NUMERICAL ANALYSTS never die, they just get disarrayed
• OLD OWLS never die, they just don't give a hoot
• OLD PACIFISTS never die, they just go to peaces
• OLD PARADOXES never die, they just become enigmas
• OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they get sent to the old focus home
• OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they just stop developing
• OLD PILOTS never die, they just buzz off
• OLD PILOTS never die, they just go to a higher plane
• OLD PLANETS never die, they just lose their attraction
• OLD PLASTIC never dies, they just recycle it
• OLD PLUMBERS never die, they just go down the drain
• OLD POLICEMEN never die, they just cop out