Old Age Jokes

When You Are Young

When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your weight and the captain of your bowling team.

Categories: Old Age Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Old Woman's Doctor Visit

An old woman goes to the doctor's office. The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests."
The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."

Categories: Old Age Jokes , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes)
Anonymous

Death By Stabbing

A woman in her 90's is distraught after the death of her warm, caring, faithful husband of seventy years. She can't live without him and decides that the best way to do herself in is to stab herself in her pitifully broken heart. Still, she doesn't want to linger so she calls a doctor to find out exactly where the heart is. He tells her to put her first two fingers together, hold them horizontally and place the tip of the first finger just below her left nipple. The heart, he says, is immediately below the first knuckle on her second finger. Later that day, the doctor is called to the emergency room to put fourteen stitches in the elderly woman's left thigh.

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Suicide Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Old Age Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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