Old Pacifists

OLD PACIFISTS never die, they just go to pieces

Old is When

• Your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"
• Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot
• A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the nearest garage door
• You remember when the Dead Sea was only sick
• Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face
• You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along
• When it takes longer to rest than to get tired
• When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police
• "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today
• "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot
• An "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!

Old Age Flirtation

Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?" The old woman replies shyly, "Depends... ." "Depends on what?" he asks. "On my bottom -- where else?!"