Elderly Man at the Brothel

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. "I'm 90 years old," he says.
"90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"
"Oh, sorry," says the old man, "how much do I owe you?"

Henry's Cork

"Look at me," an elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests at his birthday bash. "I've aged like a fine old carefully stored wine." "I certainly have to agree with that." piped-up his obviously long suffering wife. "Henry's cork's been stationary for years."

It Needs to be Ironed

Nancy & Betty, and Jim & Tom were in the old people's home. Nancy & Betty thought Jim & Tom weren't getting enough excitement so they decided to run naked past Jim & Tom's room. Later that night they did just that. Jim looked at Tom and said, "Did you see that? What in the hell were Nancy & Betty wearing?" "I don't know, but whatever it was, it sure needed ironing."