Be Happy With Your Job

Be happy with you job, these people are not!

• Nuclear Warhead Sensitivity Technician
• Circus Elephant Clean Up Specialist
• Rotten Sardine Taste Detector
• Assistant To The Boss's Nephew
• Shark Baiter
• Hurricane Photographer
• Director Of Public Relations, Chernobyl Nuclear Facility
• Prison Glee Club President
• Road Kill Removal Crew

Retirement

Retirement means twice as much husband for half as much money.

Business One - Liners Experience

Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.
Excuses are like bodies; everybody has one!
Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.
Experience is something you do not get until just after you need it.
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Experiment and theory often show remarkable agreement when performed in the same laboratory.
Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail in the same way.
Extremes meet.
Fact without theory is trivia; theory without fact is garbage.