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Work & Office Jokes - Interview Jokes
Scratching
A man was being interviewed for a job. "Were you in the service?" Asked the interviewer. "Yes, I was a marine," responded the applicant. "Did you see any active duty?" "I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability." "May I ask what happened?" "Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles." "You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am." "When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential treatment because of my disability." "Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first."
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The Signalman's Test
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says, "I would switch one train to another track." "What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector. "I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever," answers Tom. "What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector. "Then," Tom continues, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box." "What if the phone was busy?" "In that case," Tom argues, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station". "What if that had been vandalized?" "Oh, well," says Tom, "in that case I'd run into town and get my Uncle Leo." This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?" "Because he's never seen a train crash!"
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Bank Cashier
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants -- one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know. Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself -- that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?" "Oh," replied Jim -- "Yale." "That's very good ... excellent. You're hired!" "Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered., "I don't care... Yim... or Mr. Yonson."
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