More Business One Liners

• Any wire cut to length will be too short.
• Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
• Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else.
• Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.
• Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool.
• Anything created must necessarily be inferior to the essence of the creator. 
• Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
• Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.
• Anything in parentheses can be ignored.
• Anything is easier to take apart than to put together.

Call from the Boss

My boss phoned me today. He said, "Is everything okay at the office?" I said, "It’s all under control. It's been a very busy day. I haven't stopped to take a break all day."
"Can you do me a favor?" he asked. I said "Of course, what is it?" "Pick up the pace a little - I'm in the group behind you." 

Which Secretary To Hire?

An office manager was sent three secretaries, equally qualified, to fill one vacancy. "Well," thought the manager, "I'll give them an honesty test to determine which secretary to keep." To this end, he gave each secretary a money bag to take and bank telling them that there was $50 in the bag. (In fact, he had placed $100 in each bag; thus the honesty test.) The first secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50 and returns the extra $50 to the manager. The second secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks the full $100, and returns with a deposit slip as proof. The third secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50, goes to the local TAB and uses the $50 to win $300, then returns, explains to the manager and gives him the all the money.
Question: Which secretary does the manager select to retain?... Well, DUH!...The one with the biggest breasts!