A Day Off

So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for.
There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be damned if you are going to take that day off!

More Business One Liners

• Any wire cut to length will be too short.
• Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
• Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else.
• Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.
• Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool.
• Anything created must necessarily be inferior to the essence of the creator. 
• Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
• Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.
• Anything in parentheses can be ignored.
• Anything is easier to take apart than to put together.

Filing System

Two secretaries were talking about their work. "I hate filing," said one. "No matter how careful I am, I can never find the papers I'm looking for. I forget where I have filed them."
"I used to have that problem too, but no more," her blonde friend said. "Now I make 26 copies of everything I type and file one under each letter of the alphabet. That way, I can't miss it!"