Not a Big Deal

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife "Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not a big deal but it feels good."
The next day, when the man got home his wife asks, "How was your day?"
The man says "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it really feels good!"
The third day they meet at home after work, and now the man asks his wife, "And what happened today in your office, honey?"
She says, "Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it's not a big deal but, hell, it feels good!"

The Top Signs That You Have A Boring Job

1. You're introduced to everyone as "The Minesweeper God."
2. You have visited every website in the world.
3. You're the Spelling Bee Coordinator in rural Alabama.
4. You are the only one that is ready for the rush of ticket sales for that New Kids on the Block reunion tour.
5. You're able to pull staples out of papers with your teeth.
6. Your doctor says that he's never seen someone exposed to so much photocopier radiation in his life.
7. You've seen the late night commercial for the Chia Dildo.
8. Your workload is so intense that you can write Top 10 lists all day long.
9. In your 10 years on the force as an Amish Traffic Cop, you have not had to write one single speeding ticket.

MLB Member Quotes

• "It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then I'd probably have seen a lot more of my husband." - Karolyn Rose, ex-wife of Pete Rose, 1981
• "It's a weird scene. You win a few baseball games and all of a sudden, you're surrounded by reporters and TV men with cameras asking you about Vietnam and race relations." - Vida Blue, 1971
• "I watch a lot of baseball on the radio." - Gerald Ford, 1978
• "It's a beautiful day for a night game." - Announcer Frankie Frisch
• "The most important things in life are good friends and a strong bull pen." - Pitcher Bob Lemon, 1981
• "Well, that kind of puts a damper on another Yankees win." - Announcer Phil Rizzuto, after a news bulletin reporting the death of Pope Paul VI, 1978.
• "They brought me up with the Brooklyn Dodgers, which at time was in Brooklyn." - Casey Stengel, 1962
• "I won't play for a penny less than $1500." - Honus Wagner, turning down an offer of $2000.