Bring Your Spouse

USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"

Ex Wife Takes All

After 15 years of marriage, Kate leaves her husband Danny. Danny lost everything to his ex wife, so thinking he's going insane, he takes a little walk through the forest. As he was walking his foot hits a lamp and a genie comes out. The genie says, "I'll give u 3 wishes, BUT everything you get your wife gets two times as much." Danny wishes for a car and his wife got two times as many cars. Then he wished for a house and his wife got two houses. Then Danny asked the genie to choke him half two death.

Business One-Liners

• The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6.
• The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
• The road to hell is paved with good intentions and littered with sloppy analysis.
• The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
• The simplest subjects are the ones you don't know anything about.
• The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
• The solving of a problem lies in finding the solvers.
• The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up!
• The squeaky wheel doesn't always get the grease; sometimes it gets replaced.
• The stomach expands to accommodate the amount of junk food available.