New Lumberjack

A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked as hard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three trees in a day. His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybe his chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was working fine. The lumberjack looked incredibly startled and asked, "What's that noise?"

More Business One - Liners

• The only sense that is common in the long run is the sense of change. We instinctively avoid it.
• The only time to be positive is when you are positive you are wrong.
• The organization of any program reflects the organization of the people who developed it.
• The other line always moves faster.
• The paperless office will become a reality about the same time as the paperless toilet.
• The person not here is the one working on the problem.
• The phone will not ring until you leave your desk and walk to the other end of the building.
• The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.
• The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
• The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. 

Redneck Interview

You might be a redneck if... the interviewer asks:
Q: "Did you know that we are a Fortune 500 Company?"
A: "What track do y'all sponsor that race at? I ain't been to that one yet."