Work Quotes

• The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. Robert Frost
• The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse. Dennis Miller
• Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Edgar Bergen
• Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished. Leslie Nielsen
• The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. Slappy White
• I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. Robert Paul
• It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. Muhammad Ali
• A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error. Dennis Miller
• I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K Jerome

The Yuppette Executive

The Yuppette had risen to executive level in the company in no time at all. Hearing rumors about her, the husband confronted his wife and accused her of sleeping with all of the top level managers. "Now that's entirely false." she cried. "I took the easy route and slept with anyone who mattered at least twice."

What Is Two Plus Two?

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Again, the last question was, "How much is two plus two?" Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, "Four." The lawyer was interviewed last, and again the final question was, "How much is two plus two?" The lawyer drew all the shades in the room, looked outside to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and then whispered, "How much do you want it to be?"