Decisions to Marry

A man had to choose one of his three girlfriends to marry. He decided to give each one $5,000 and see how they spent it. The first one got a makeover with the money. She told the man, "I spent the money to look prettier for you because I love you so much." The second one bought new golf clubs and a television. She said, "I bought these gifts for you because I love you so much." The third one invested the money in the stock market, doubled her investment, returned the $5000 to the man and reinvested the rest. She said, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much." The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money. He finally decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.

Male Brain More Expensive

One day a group of husbands and wives went to a scientific program. The doctor there was showing them brains from real people and telling how expensive it would be to buy one. He said it was five million dollars for a female brain and ten million dollars for a male brain. The men snickered, thinking they knew why. One of the women said, ''Well, why is that, sir?'' The doctor answered, "The men's brains cost more, for they have never been used."

Nickel's Difference

There's a nickels worth of difference between a republican and a democrat. Put a nickel on the table and a republican will kill you for it. Do the same and a democrat will steal it from you.