Pre-Declined

The recession is getting so bad, the bank sent me a new type of credit card. It was pre-declined.

Letter From The Bank

I received a letter from my bank the other day, telling me, "This is the last time we're going to spend a quarter to tell you that you have fifteen cents!"

Santa's Entrance

If your child asks how Santa Claus gets into the house, just tell him he comes in through a large hole in daddy's wallet.