Bank Robbery

Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, there's no money, only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. "We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next morning's newspaper reads: "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."

My Only Extravagance

"Okay," said the wife, "I'll admit I like to spend money, but it's the only extravagance I have!"

HMO

My HMO is terrible. They charge me for a self-examination. It's a flat fee.