Pay for Your Past Bills

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

You Might Be A Redneck 56

You might be a redneck if...

• The neighborhood dogs are afraid to come around your house because the fowl are big enough to hurt them.
• You have ever had to climb up on the roof of an out building to get down any fowl that was frozen to the roof.
• You have ever worried more about the outbuildings freezing than your vehicles.
• You have ever had deer graze in your front yard close enough to the house that you could throw a rock and hit them.
• You have ever dug up your driveway to fix your water line.
• You have ever had to get up quickly in the morning in order to let the goat out before she dropped raisins on the kitchen floor.
• Your wife is the only one that the geese will allow into the laundry room.
• Any of your children learned to make very realistic animal noises before they learned to talk.
• You have to stop a leak in your flat-bottom boat with gum and chewing tobacco.
• You have to pay your hair care professional in weekly installments of $3.00.

Jewish Football Game

Q: What's the object of a Jewish football game?
A: To get the quarter back!