Money Jokes

Never Lend Money

A husband leaves the house to go pick up dinner for he and his wife. Shortly after leaving, the doorbell rings. It is her husbands best friend and she invites him in. Since she is in her bathrobe the man says to her "you have the nicest breasts." She says, "thanks but my husband would be mad if he heard you." He replies "I would pay you $50 just to see one of them." She thinks for a minute and decides to do it. He says "Wow that is the most perfect breast I ever saw... I will give you another $50 if you show me both at the same time." She does it, and he gives her the money. The friend leaves and her husband comes home. She says "your best friend just stopped by." He answers, "Great did he leave the $100 he owed me?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Wealthy Man Wife-Hunting

An enormously wealthy 65 year old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend. "Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."
 

Anonymous

Bank Robber

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Los Angeles Times, December 9: A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer. When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door. It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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