Fines

In the army, you have to pay $85 if you lose your rifle.
That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

General's Funeral

The famous general died and his ashes were to be taken to Arlington National Cemetery. All the air lines were booked and there were no other planes available. Someone came up with the idea of using a helicopter. It arrived at 5:00 A.M.The newspapers reported the incident with the headlines, "The Whirly Bird Gets The Urn"

Marine Rides

Q: What does M.A.R.I.N.E stand for?
A: My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment