Hearing Test

A little boy is doing his homework. He says to himself, “Two plus five, the son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, the son of a bitch is nine.” His mother hears this and gasps, “What are you saying?” The little boy answers, “I’m doing my homework. This is how my teacher taught me to do it.” Infuriated, the mother confronts the teacher the next day. “What are you teaching my son in arithmetic? He’s been saying two plus two, the son of a bitch is four?” The teacher replies, “Oh dear. What I taught them was, two plus two ‘the sum of which’ is four!”

Missing Numbers

Q: What did the police say after 4, 6, 8 and 9 were killed?
A: We believe 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are prime suspects.

Math Grade

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?" "I said '6'" "But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" His father asks, "What's the fucking difference?" Johnny says, "That's exactly what I said!"