All Numbers Equal

Theorem: All numbers are equal.
Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then a + b = t(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)a^2 - b^2 = ta - tba^2 - ta = b^2 - tba^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2a - t/2 = b - t/2a = b
So all numbers are the same, and math is pointless.

Reason to Shine

You are so beautiful you give the sun reason to shine. Of course, the sun shines by burning hydrogen into helium in its core.

Lectropositive Mama

'Lectropositive Mama (tune, Lady Madonna)
'Letropositive mama, Cesium on your meat, Wonder how you manage, To stay on your feet. How d'ya stand the smokin'? How d'ya 'bide the flame? Do you think that life's just A burnin' game. Monday night your hunger's a blue fire, Tuesday morn' you're cookin' 'fore the sun. Wednesday rain, you're only flamin' higher, Having your fun. 'Lectropositive mama, Cinders in your curls, No way can compare you, To ordinary girls. Likin' the explosions, Rock you on your seat. How can any woman handle All that heat?