Lectropositive Mama

'Lectropositive Mama (tune, Lady Madonna)
'Letropositive mama, Cesium on your meat, Wonder how you manage, To stay on your feet. How d'ya stand the smokin'? How d'ya 'bide the flame? Do you think that life's just A burnin' game. Monday night your hunger's a blue fire, Tuesday morn' you're cookin' 'fore the sun. Wednesday rain, you're only flamin' higher, Having your fun. 'Lectropositive mama, Cinders in your curls, No way can compare you, To ordinary girls. Likin' the explosions, Rock you on your seat. How can any woman handle All that heat? 

Highest Number

One day Jimmy went up to his father and asked, "Daddy, what's the highest number?" His daddy said, "Well, I'm not exactly sure, but I think it's in the stimulus package."

Weight of Trees

Q: Did you hear about the statistician who invented a device to measure the weight of trees?
A: It's referred to as the log scale.