Dollars Equals Cents

Theorem: 1$ = 1c. Proof: And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing. 1$ = 100c= (10c)^2= (0.1$)^2= 0.01$= 1c.
Here $ means dollars and c means cents. This one is scary in that I have seen PhD's in math who were unable to see what was wrong with this one. Actually I am crossposting this to sci.physics because I think that the latter makes a very nice introduction to the importance of keeping track of your dimensions.

Slammer Time

Q: Why were Sodium Chloride and Sulphuric Acid in jail?
A: They were in for assault and battery.

Temperatures and What They Mean

Temperatures and What They Mean
40 Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.
35 Italian cars don't start.
32 Water freezes.
30 You can see your breath. Politicians begin to worry about the Homeless.
25 Boston water freezes. Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you.
20 Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream. You can hear your breath.
15 N.Y. City water freezes. Politicians begin to talk aobut the homeless.
12 You plan a vacation to Mexico.
10 Too cold to snow
5 You need jumper cables to get the car going. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
3 You plan a vacation in Houston.
0 Too cold to skate. American cars don't start.
-5 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
-10 Too cold to think. Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
-15 Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-20 You plan a 2-week hot bath.
-25 The mighty Monongahela freezes. Japanese cars don't start.
-30 Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button... Below
-30 The kids call home from college. End of the world...