Watermelons

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!" He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

Where Do You Live?

A colleague was relating a conversation he had with his young daughter, just a bit over 2 years old. They were discussing geography and...   "Where does mommy live?" "Minneapolis." "Where does grandma live?" "Baltimore." "Where does grandpa live?" "Baltimore." "And where does daddy live?" "At work!" Needless to say, he took the morning off that next day.

Daddy, Where Did I Come From?

"Daddy, where did I come from?" seven-year-old Rachel asks. It is a moment for which her parents have carefully prepared. They take her into the living room, get out several other books, and explain all they think she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproduction. Then they both sit back and smile contentedly. "Does that answer your question?" the mom asks. "Not really," the little girl says. "Judy said she came from Detroit. I just wanted to know where I came from."