The Toy

The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy. "Isn't it rather complicated for a small boy?"  she asked the sales clerk. "It's designed to help the child to live in today's world, madam," the shop assistant replied.... "Any way he tries to put it together is wrong."

Shopping Mall

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.  He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"  The cop asked, "What's he like?"  The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big tits."

Responses On the Bible

Answers Given By Students To Test Questions On The Bible:

• The first book of the Bible is Guinessis.
• Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
• Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
• The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
• The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. (I used this one a lot when I was a kid...wait...I still do!)
• The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. (Used by Bill Clinton...Monica who?)
• Moses died before he ever reached the UK. (Lucky for him that is.)
• Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol. (What...they launch their Depends at 'em?)
• The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
• David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
• King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times. (and still alive and residing in Hackensack, N.J.)
• Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. (Hey...he needed the extra pricks.)
• The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. (Hey testicle...I have headache. Aw SHUT UP an keep wandering!)