Jokes about Kids

Palm Sunday

It was Palm Sunday, and the family's 6-year old son had to stay home from church because of strep throat. When the rest of the family returned home carrying palm branches, the little boy asked what they were for. His mother explained, "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by." "Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go to church, and Jesus shows up!"

Anonymous

Our Peak Mental Activity

The years of peak mental activity are surely between age four and 18. At four, we know all the questions; at eighteen, all the answers.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Household Physics

Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as every other law in the universe? Here are a few examples:

  1. A child's eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to the ability to actually do the work involved.
  2. Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.
  3. A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.
  4. The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.
  5. The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.
  6. Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.
  7. The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers.
  8. The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.
  9. The capacity of any hot water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.
  10. What goes up must come down, except for bubble gum, kites and slightly used Rice Krispies.
  11. Place two children in a room full of toys and they will both want to play with the same toy.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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