Fire Truck

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says "Hey little girl. What are you doing?" The little girl says
"I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!" The fireman walks over to take a closer look.
"Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says.
"Thanks mister" says the little girl. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles.
"Little girl", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster." The little girl says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!'

Writing to Grandma

A little boy wrote this letter to his grandmother: Dear Grandmother, I'm sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday. With love, Mike

Martin Learns Bad Words

Little Martin is four years old. One day while he was pestering his mother, she said, "Why don't you go across the street and watch the builders work, maybe you will learn something. "Martin was gone about two hours. When he came home, his mother asked him what he had learned. Martin replied - "Well first you put the goddamn door up. Then the son of a bitch doesn't fit so you have to take the cock sucker down. Then you have to shave a cunt hair off each side and put the mother fucker back up." Martin's mother said, "Wait until your father gets home." When Martin's father got home, Martin's mum told him to ask Martin what he had learnt today. When Martin told him the whole story, dad said, "Martin, go outside and get me a switch." Martin replied, "Get fucked. That's the electrician's job."