Top 10 Advice from Kids

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
2. When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer.
3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
4. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
5. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
6. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
7. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
8. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
9. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
10. Never try to baptize a cat.

Group Photo

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."

Teacher Error

The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Kaitlyn, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she announced. "One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free."
Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, "I'm not free. I'm four."