Day Care

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?" He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?" The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts." "Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means." The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."

No Batteries?

Little four-year-old Julie was looking at her new baby brother for the first time. He was fast asleep. After staring at her tiny, motionless baby brother for a few minutes, Julie looked up at her mother and asked plaintively, "Didn't he come with batteries?"

The Purpose of Breasts

A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless.
"Mummy, mummy, what are these?" he says, pointing to her breasts.
"Well, son," she says, "these are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven."
Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied.
Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen. "Mummy, mummy, Aunt Mary is dying!"
"What do you mean?" says his mother.
"Well she's in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both her balloons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling 'God, I'm coming! I'm coming!!!'"