Little Boy With No Name

There was this little boy who had no name. One day he went outside and heard someone say Jonny. He then tells his mother his first name would be Jonny. The second day he goes outside and hears the name Humper. So, he tells his mother his middle name was going to be Humper. The third day, Jonny goes out and hears the name Harder. Then, he tells his mother his full name shall be Jonny Humper Harder. Jonny goes out one day with handful of cookies. He sees this girl around his age and asks her if she would be willing to take off her shirt for a cookie. The little girls says that she would take off all her close for all of Jonny's cookies. Jonny gives her the cookies and the girl takes off all her clothes. Hours later, the towns people all run up to them in the middle of the street and they cry, "JONNY HUMPER HARDER!" Little Jonny yells,'' I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING!'''

Spelling Test Mistakes

One of the women with whom I work, Donna, has a son in third grade. Part of his daily homework is to practice his spelling for his weekly tests. So, together, Donna and her son go over the words for the test, both meaning and spelling of the words. A few weeks ago, her son brought home his test. He scored 97%, missing only one word. The word was "clock." Part of the test was to use each spelling list word in a sentence. His sentence? "My dad gave my mom a clock for her birthday" -- only it seems he'd accidentally omitted the letter "L." Donna said there was no comment on the test, just the biggest check mark she had ever seen.

I Will Not

• I will not waste chalk...
• I will not skateboard in the halls...
• I will not burp in class...
• I will not draw naked ladies in class...
• I did not see Elvis...
• I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'...
• Garlic gum is not funny...
• They are laughing at me, not with me...
• I will not yell 'fire' in a crowded classroom...
• I will not encourage others to fly...
• I will not fake my way through life...
• Tar is not a play thing...
• I will not Xerox my butt...
• I will not trade pants with others...
• I will not do that thing with my tongue...
• I will not drive the principal's car...
• I will not pledge allegiance to Bart...
• I will not sell school property...
• I will not instigate revolution...