Daddy's Occupation

A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living. Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse." The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said. Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

Taking Dweebonics Classes

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR KID IS TAKING DWEEBONICS CLASSES
10. They tilt their head sideways to smile.
9. When you ground them, they say, "Your UI could really use some work."
8. They say, "My dad can beat your dad at Quake."
7. Instead of laughing, they say, "LOL."
6. They insult kids by saying, "And you've got limited bandwidth!"
5. They change the answering machine message to "BRB, leave your URL, and we'll TTYL."
4. This is how they ask someone out on a date: "Umm, uh, well...see ya!"
3. Calling from camp, your homesick child says, "I'm roaming outside my service area!"
2. When you ask if they've finished their book report, they say, "It's in beta, but it'll ship in time."
1. You're telling them something they don't want to hear. They're saying, "NAK, NAK, NAK" the whole time.

Two Boys Visit Doctor

Two boys are in a doctor's office and one turns to the other and says, "What are you doing here?" The first kid says, "Well, I'm getting my tonsils out." The other kid says, "I had that done. Don't worry, it's not that bad. You get to lay around the house, eat ice cream and not have to talk to anyone." Then the other kid says, "That's good to know. What are you doing here?" The first kid replies, "I'm getting circumcised." The other kid responds, "Oh man, I had that done and it took me a year to learn to walk!"