Groom's Mother

A lady with a large flowery hat was stopped at the church door by the usher. "Are you a friend of the bride ?" he asked. "Certainly not," she snapped, "I'm the groom's mother."

Jewish Grandma

A little old Jewish grandmother gives directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife:
"You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 3A. There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 3A. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 3. When you get out, I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all those buttons with my elbow?"
"You're coming empty-handed?

Jewish Birthday

A Jewish mother bought her son two pairs of socks for his birthday and, wishing to please her, he went upstairs to put a pair on. When he returned, his mother immediately said, ''You don't like the other pair?''