Mother-in-Law and Newpaper

Q: Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with newspaper?
A: Yes, if you wrap an iron in it.

You Came From A Bucket

"Daddy?" the kid asked his father. "Where did I come from?" "Ask your mother," he replied. "I did," the kid said. "But I don't think she was telling the truth. She said I came from a bucket." "Hmm.." chuckled his dad. "That's about the size of it..."

Old Enough For Cursing

Two brothers, ages 6 and 8, decide they are old enough to start cursing. So they plan to use dirty words the next morning at breakfast. The 8-year-old says he'll use the world HELL and tells the 6-year-old to use ASS. Well, the next morning they head downstairs for breakfast. When their mother asks them what they want, the 8-year-old says, "Ah, Hell, I'll have some Fruit Loops." Shocked, the mother wheels around and backhands him on his chair, sending him screaming back upstairs. She then turns to the 6-year-old and says, "What are you going to have?" He replies, "I don't know, but you can bet your ass it ain't gonna be Fruit Loops."