Jokes about Families

Come Home To This

This guy, about 40, walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he pulls out a picture of a beautiful girl, about 20. He orders drink after drink after drink. Finally, the bartender asks why he's getting drunk. "I have to come home to this!'' the guy says, pointing to the picture of the beautiful girl. "What's wrong with her?'' asks the bartender. ''She's beautiful and half your age!''
''Exactly. That's my daughter.''

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes)
Anonymous

Palm Sunday

It was Palm Sunday, and the family's 6-year old son had to stay home from church because of strep throat. When the rest of the family returned home carrying palm branches, the little boy asked what they were for. His mother explained, "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by." "Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go to church, and Jesus shows up!"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Jokes about Kids , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes)
Anonymous

Prostitutes

A woman and her twelve year old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings. "Mom," said the boy, "What are all those women doing?" "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied. The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money." The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?" His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes." After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?" She replies, "Well, most of them become taxi drivers."

Categories: Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Taxi Driver Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes)
Anonymous
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