Call Your Mother

A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very weak." The son says, "Why are you so weak?" She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days? The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."

The Accident

It was my birthday and my dad and I where driving on the highway when we saw a terrible accident. My Dad said, "This is the worst accident I've seen in 20 years!"
Well, yeah, it was my 20th birthday.

I Have A Question

A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out on the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?" The father replied, "I don't rightly know son." A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breath underwater?" Once again the father replied, "I don't rightly know son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "I don't rightly know son." Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" The father replied, "Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'."