Crash Landing

Elle McPherson, Cindy Crawford, and Naomi Campbell are going by air to a photo shoot. Halfway through the flight the plane had engine trouble, the pilot warned the girls to assume the crash position, just in case they went down. Elle put on more make-up saying, "They always rescued the beautiful ones first.' Cindy donned her jewelery claiming, "They would rescue the richest one first," upon which Naomi, threw off all her clothes, pressing herself against the window saying, "You're both wrong, the first thing they look for is the Black Box"!

Rosie O'Donnell Arrested

Q: Did you hear why Rosie O'Donnell got arrested?
A: Airport security lifted up her dress and found 200 pounds of crack.

Charlie Wins

With all the negativity in the world today... 
...at least Charlie Sheen is staying positive.