Good Place To Eat

Have you ever walked up to a really fat person, and asked them for a good place to eat? Then when they look at you and say they don't know, you look at them, like, "You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we're going to be eating."

Born Ugly

When you were born, you were so ugly, the doctor slapped your mother.

Safe Jump

There are 4 people on a jet. The pilot, a little girl, an old priest, and a blonde. Something goes wrong on the plane and everyone has to jump out. There are only 3 parachutes. The pilot jumps first, then the blonde. There is only one parachute left so the old priest says to the little girl, "You take the last parachute. You still have your entire life to go through. I am old you are young and I know that God and Jesus would want it this way." "That's okay," The little girl replies with a smile. He looks at her puzzled. "The blonde took my back pack."