Halloween Cab

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!" The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley." He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?" "Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."

Hot Dates

Two blondes were discussing last-minute sexy costume ideas. Both had on little black dresses and stilettos but were looking for a creative accessory to spice up their outfits. With limited time and options, the blondes cooked some eggs and put them on hats to be "so hot you can fry an egg on us". A few hours later at the party the blondes are getting a lot of attention. A guy says to his buddies, "hey look! Eggs over easy!"

Knock Knock - Twig

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Twig!
Twig who?
Twig or tweat!