Somebody Flunked Elf School...

5-year-old Nicholas was sitting on a department store Santa's lap and told him, "My name's the same as yours." Santa's helper blows his cover when he says, "Well, hello, Harold!"

Christmas Gifting

My wife asked me to get her "bath stuff" for Christmas.
I sure hope she likes her new toaster.

Christmas Trees Better

Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman:

1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
2. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
3. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
4. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
5. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
6. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.