Toilet Tennis?

While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door:  Congratulations! You've won one a free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads: Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left...

That Ought To Work

A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other. "So what's going on here?" he asks. The bikie replies "My mate here has had too much to drink and I'm trying to make him vomit." The cop says "I think you should be sticking your fingers down his THROAT!" The bikie replies "That's what I'm going to do next!"

Red and Green in the Corner

Q: What's red and sits in a corner?
A: A baby playing with a razor blade.
 
Q   What's green and sits in the corner? 
A: That same baby three weeks later.