Ghost Shit

It was late one night and three guys just got done partying, so they needed to find a motel. They find a Super 8. They go in to the clerk and get one room because that was all that they could afford. They get to their room and there is only one bed so quickly one guy says, "I get the bed." Then another guy says,
"I get the bathroom." Then the last guy says,
"I guess I get the closet." During the middle of the night the guy in the bed has to take a big ol' shit. But he remembers the guy in the bathroom so he does his business in the pillow case and throws it in the closet. In the morning he gets up and checks on the guy in the bathroom. They both had a great night sleep. So, they go and see their friend in the closet. When they asked how his night was he said,
"It was pretty good up until a white ghost jumped in and I kicked the shit out of it."

Sugar In Urine

Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
A: She peed on her corn flakes.

Two Guns and No Guns

A man walks into a bar one day and asks the bartender if he knows a man named Two Guns Gonzales. The bartender says no but he tells him that the man in the back named No Guns knows him. So the guy walks to the back of the bar and asks the man if he knows a guy named Two Guns Gonzales.
The man says, "Let me tell you a story... One day about a week ago, I was riding into town on my horse and this large man with two guns comes riding up to me and says, 'Get off your horse.' Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I get off my horse. Then he says, 'Now drop your pants.' Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I take off my pants. Then he says, 'Now shit.' Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I shit. Then he says, 'Now eat it.' Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I eat it. Now, Two Guns is laughing so hard, he drops his guns! I grab them! Now I say, 'Drop your pants.' Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He drops his pants. Then I say, 'Now shit.' Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He shits. Then I say, 'Now eat it.' Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He eats it. So when you ask me if I know a man named Two Guns Gonzales, the answer is yes: I had lunch with him last week."