Yo Mama - Sit Down

Yo mama is so gross, the couch gets up when she sits down.

Barney's Favorite Movie

Q: What's Barney's favorite movie?
A: The Color Purple.

Lemon Pennance

A guy goes into the church confessional and says, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I slept with five different women last night.” The priest says, “Go home, squeeze five lemons into a glass, and drink it all as fast as you can.” “And I will be forgiven?” asks the man. “No,” the priest says, “but it will wipe that smirk off your face.”